“As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…” – Hermes Trismegistus
Many of you may be familiar with the saying, “10% of life is what happens to you, and 90% is how you respond to it.” This was never more clear to me than this week. I’m participating in Ascent’s Managers’ Leadership Program and one of its benefits is personal coaching sessions. (Even coaches need coaching!) I was almost ready to cancel my scheduled coaching this week because I thought I didn’t have anything to work on. Ha! Wrong. My very patient coach started out with a breathing and centering practice. I don’t remember everything she said, but she came to the word “purpose” and I felt tension in my body. When she checked in with me I mentioned it.
That word was a trigger that I hadn’t shown up to a Purpose Workshop on my calendar. I felt guilty for accepting the appointment and not showing up. Actually, I was really thinking, “I’m such a slacker!” My coach asked if this was a pattern with me. Through inquiry, I was able to see how accumulation of too many over-scheduled days leads to fatigue. When I reach that fatigue, it triggers rebellion in me. My rebellious behavior (skipping the workshop) leads to feelings of guilt or judgment. We then talked about agreements we make. Agreements with ourselves and others. Agreements can be kept, broken and renegotiated. I got clarity around what kind of “cleanup” I needed to do in this situation and how a new personal agreement I made with myself could be honored. It was a really powerful experience for me. And it happened within an hour!
The relationship we have with our thoughts and emotions will impact that 90% I referred to earlier, in a positive or negative way. The stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances and what we consciously or unconsciously know, affect how we cope with life, whether that is with healing and growth or with a belief in lack and fear. It’s interesting how things connect in life. I’m currently reading the book, Perfecting the Soul, by Dawn Ely. Her research has shown that when we change our relationship to our thoughts and emotions, we change our attitude. When we change our attitude, we change our perspective. When we change our perspective we change our experience. And when we change our experience we change our life.
What I’ve learned is you can’t just “drop your story” or “change your thoughts” without doing the work of inquiry and healing. Coaching is a powerful tool and process. If you are trying to work through something right now or trying to achieve a goal and would like a guide, a listening partner, I’m happy to help.
Here’s to making that 90% work better for you.